I'm so crabby today. I think it's because I didn't sleep last night. Also, we're a third of the way through this list thing, and the bloom is off the rose. Hence, I will be indulging my inner curmudgeon today. (She's not very inner, I'm afraid.)
This is reminding me of a hysterical moment on Aliens in America last night. Franny is sitting in the car with her 15-year-old daughter, Claire, who is apologizing for her recent witchiness:
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mom. Everything annoys me. It's like I'm on an island where I'm the only person who's not an idiot."
"Awwww, sweetie. You're becoming a woman."
SOME OF MY FAVORITE PEEVES
1. People who don't merge. Merging is crucial in southern California. Have they never noticed how much faster the knot unravels when they yield, rather than ramming their car into the last available inch?
2. The new mania with "adopting" everything. It's happening right now at Jarrah's preschool. There's a sign up asking parents to "adopt" a piece of the new playground. Really, will it require LiveScan, a police report, references and several years of your life? There's a lot of "adopting" things on the internet, too. I find the whole thing offensive in some way that I can't quite describe.
3. Phone calls five minutes before the start time of a party from a regretful guest who will no longer be attending. I know this is rather misanthropic of me, but hello? If my party is in five minutes, what do you think I'm doing right then? Watching TV and eating bon-bons?
4. Restaurants that keep you waiting longer than 10 minutes for the menu and a glass of water. When they're empty. And while we're on the subject, waiters who seat you next to the bathroom when the restaurant is empty.
5. That Jarrah whispers in a register audible only to crickets when I'm trying to get some crucial information out of her, but screams things like "Look at my sock!" directly in my ear the rest of the time.
6. How my husband, when he does the grocery shopping, reaches for anything that's a "reasonable facsimile" of something on my list. So well do I know him that recently I wrote: "Plain yogurt--don't get vanilla!" He got vanilla.
Okay, Readers. Fire away.