Monday, March 10, 2008

Day Ten: She's Crabby

I'm so crabby today. I think it's because I didn't sleep last night. Also, we're a third of the way through this list thing, and the bloom is off the rose. Hence, I will be indulging my inner curmudgeon today. (She's not very inner, I'm afraid.)

This is reminding me of a hysterical moment on Aliens in America last night. Franny is sitting in the car with her 15-year-old daughter, Claire, who is apologizing for her recent witchiness:

"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mom. Everything annoys me. It's like I'm on an island where I'm the only person who's not an idiot."

"Awwww, sweetie. You're becoming a woman."


1. People who don't merge. Merging is crucial in southern California. Have they never noticed how much faster the knot unravels when they yield, rather than ramming their car into the last available inch?

2. The new mania with "adopting" everything. It's happening right now at Jarrah's preschool. There's a sign up asking parents to "adopt" a piece of the new playground. Really, will it require LiveScan, a police report, references and several years of your life? There's a lot of "adopting" things on the internet, too. I find the whole thing offensive in some way that I can't quite describe.

3. Phone calls five minutes before the start time of a party from a regretful guest who will no longer be attending. I know this is rather misanthropic of me, but hello? If my party is in five minutes, what do you think I'm doing right then? Watching TV and eating bon-bons?

4. Restaurants that keep you waiting longer than 10 minutes for the menu and a glass of water. When they're empty. And while we're on the subject, waiters who seat you next to the bathroom when the restaurant is empty.

5. That Jarrah whispers in a register audible only to crickets when I'm trying to get some crucial information out of her, but screams things like "Look at my sock!" directly in my ear the rest of the time.

6. How my husband, when he does the grocery shopping, reaches for anything that's a "reasonable facsimile" of something on my list. So well do I know him that recently I wrote: "Plain yogurt--don't get vanilla!" He got vanilla.

Okay, Readers. Fire away.


Jennifer said...

Ha! Great list! I've got seems like most of mine center around things students do at school, but I'll give you one for home as well.
#1 school pet peeve: When I ask a student a question, possibly about having their work done when they are yapping away and they look at me and say, "huh?" They know darn well what I just asked!!!

I'll start by saying....I adore my husband...he is by far the best man I've ever known. (Where's the BUT right?!) He does however do a couple things that drive me crazy. The biggest one being leaving a wrapper, whether it's a candy bar, breakfast bar or whatever else sitting right on the end table when the trash can is less than 20 steps away knowing the dog will snatch it and run. Then he yells at the dog. ha! Now he knows how crazy this makes me and I am sure I've nagged him a bit about it as well. Our end tables have drawers and I was getting some candles out of the drawer just the other day when what do I discover....wrappers!!! He looked a bit sheepish and said, "well you didn't want the dog grabbing them so I put them inside there." I think he missed the point! ha!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Now I know we are not the only ones that watch Aliens in America!

My list is so long it would be longer than your post.

Type (little) a said...

#2 and #5.


Cheri said...

Women who buy the front-off-school parking space at the school fundraiser and then don't park in it, thereby depriving the rest of us not one, but two spaces.

That flippin' "Reserved for Auction Winner" parking space is ALWAYS empty and she's ALWAYS at school.

End of rant.

P.S. I'm tired of thinking in lists. Twenty-one to go and I'm going to have to do five or six of them while we are on vacation. *SIGH*

Jen said...

I'm with ya, especially on #6!

Here are mine:

1. People who cut you off and then drive below the speed limit.

2. Students who ask if we'll get out early today.

3. Students who start packing up their materials and zipping up their backpacks before class is finished.

I could go on and on about students, actually, but since I'm on sabbatical I don't want to think about them anymore! ;-)

4. People (who shall remain nameless) who do the dishes but don't wipe down the kitchen counters afterward.

5. Noisy neighbors, especially in the summer when it's too hot to sleep with the windows closed.

I could go on, but I'll desist! I do love all of this misanthropic stuff, though. Makes me positively cheerful!

Miss J

Sam said...

@Jennifer: My husband leaves the little thing-o from the top of the milk carton on the counter. I asked him if we would eventually be buried under those if I didn't throw them away. ;)

@Jen: Oooh, I could add all of yours! :) I remember that zipping thing especially. Grrr.

#4 totally cracked me up--do we have the same David? :) Every single night (I cook, he does dishes) I come back in the kitchen, lean on the counter, and my elbow gets stuck with stickiness or a pile of crumbs. ;)

Anonymous said...

One that comes to mind is the kid that loads my grocery cart at checkout. After I've taken the time to choose the best fruits and veggies in the manner of my Italian grocer grandpa, and then place the items on the conveyor belt thingy so that the heaviest items go first, presumably so they go in the cart first and on the bottom...I always seem to get the kid that either throws the items in or lifts the bag over his head and drops the damn thing into the cart, paying no regard to all of my efforts! Sometimes I wonder if they are doing it purposely to see how far they go before the customer freaks out on them...Argh!