Friday, September 04, 2009

The Local Color

Last night was our final Moliere rehearsal, at a smoldering hot park in OB with many, many screaming children about 10 feet away. People kept saying optimistically that there won't be screaming children during our show, but how do they know that? I am missing our waterfront palace at Shelter Island, but I know it will be fun to try something new. (I'll just keep repeating that.) Because I am an idiot, there is already a heavy doorjamb on my heart because we have two more shows and then we are done. Who gets that way when the thing hasn't even ended? I do. Because I'm an idiot.

The night itself, however, was perfectly divine. Well, not perfectly (see below.) Last year, I did NaBloPoMo and made lists for 31 days. I think I'm going to turn this post into a list.

What I Learned In And About OB Last Night

1. If you are given a little slip of paper with the instructions "you have sticks in your shoes, and your feet are killing you" (your director likes to have fun) you won't even need to act if the park is covered with teeny-tiny acorn-like nuts and you are in bare feet. And everyone will just ask "Did you need to pee?" anyway.

2. There is a way in which my hair will grow higher and frizzier than proximity to the ocean. Proximity to the ocean plus 89 percent humidity. That does the trick of making me look like Lily Munster quite handily.

3. If you want a burger, you could wait in the 8-hour line at Hodad's. But the place across the street is tasty and has no line.

4. There are a lot of "tweakers" in OB, and people smoking weed out of teapots. They are fine.

5. Don't go in the ocean. Still not sure why, but that's what I was told.

6. The pier is very long. Maybe 8 miles long, I'm not sure. If you walk to the very end, you see that at least 50 percent of its population is under three. Many of this set have their own fishing poles.

7. People fish with glow sticks, but not the ones from the dollar store. Expensive ones.

8. There are rats on the beach. RATS. The size of mongooses. (Mongeese?) They run to and fro with no discernible reason for being there. What do rats need with sand?

9. If you walk several miles, ice cream tastes even better. But if it's served in a shop that's like 110 degrees, it melts. FAST.

10. Sometimes men who don't even seem drunk will try to talk to you with no encouragement (and a fair amount of discouragement.)

11. The lyrics to "Beauty and The Beast" are kind of naughty. Who knew?

12. People will ask you for cigarettes--a lot--and get sort of miffed if you say you don't smoke, like you are inconveniencing them and should just start already.

13. Rats, tweakers, drunks, skateboarders, sand, oceans, piers and everybody look extra-extra beautiful under a full moon in OB. Especially in OB.


Myrnie said...

In which I show my dweebiness: What's OB? (And yes- I know that "I'm so bummed it's almost over, even though we haven't even had opening night yet" feeling. Stinks.)

erin said...

Hmmm OB? Let me guess.

Odor Body?

Outer Banks?

Ousting Bobby?

Orlando Bloom? (Do you think his parents were Shakespeare fans? That would be neat...)

OMG Bitch? Okay, that was a stretch but I wanted to swear so bad. Maybe it's because you're my big sister and I'm rebelling on your blog.

The Wades said...

I'm ALWAYS sad before things end. It's because we're so smart and can anticipate our future feelings. :) I like the quote, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." It rarely works on me, but I keep trying.

Sounds like a fascinating time. I am so sheltered!

Sam said...

LOL! :)

"OB" is Ocean Beach. No one in San Diego ever says Ocean Beach, for obvious reasons--it sounds so absurdly redundant. It's a beach community (not a town) with lots of antique shops and tattoo parlors.

I was really intrigued when I first moved here that Pacific Beach is always "PB" and Ocean Beach is always "OB" but Mission Beach is NEVER, EVER "MB." Those are San Diego rules--I just follow them. ;)

Michelle, I really like that motto. :)

Erin, it's always safe to rebel with me. I won't tell mom. ;)

Anonymous said...

I had to google the Beauty and Beast lyrics to make sure you were right. haha- true! I heard that Faith Hill's "The Way You Love Me," was about oral sex. My favorite interview ever was one by Jane magazine where they asked her about it and she got all pissed.

Sam said...

@Prosy: Now I have to Google that. :) I so love when celebrities lose it in magazine interviews. Delicious. :)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

This list is the BEST! I laughed, I learned, and then you wooed me with moonlight at the end.

LunaMoonbeam said... you explained the OB, but WHAT, praytell, is a "tweaker." I don't think we have them in podunk Connecticut-ville.

Sam said...

Oh, Max, from what I hear, Connecticut has more tweakers per capita than any other state in the U.S. ;)

Caroline said...

Tweaker: One who comes along and pinches your nose? ;) ;) ;)

I wonder how that community felt about the eighties tampon commercial jingle, "Try OB and you'll see!"

OB is like a less-angry Berkeley on the sand. Russell used to live there with his ex-GF when I first met him, so I think of it as The Place I Really Should Stop Driving Through to Be Near Him. Yeah, I was kind of a stalker that way. Poor guy. ;)

Never thought about the never MB thing. Hmm.