Monday, March 09, 2009

The Daily Idiocy

I have been carrying the same black duffel bag to the gym since 1994. 'Course, there have been periods when I didn't GO to the gym, but when I have, the bag has gone, too. That bag has stories to tell; sadly, most of them are about smelly socks and graying workout bras.

About a month ago, the zipper finally threw in the towel (which actually was kind of considerate; otherwise, I would have been forced to air dry after my shower) and detached from its moorings. At first, there was just a three-inch section with no zipper, but soon enough, the whole bag was permanently exposed to the elements.

That meant that my gym stuff was exposed, too. My gym ritual grew to include an elaborate re-stuffing so that anything untoward was forced to the bottom with more neutral items arranged across the top, like a checkered cloth over the basket of goodies for Grandma. Not that she'd want those goodies.

Now, any reasonable person (a population amongst which I sadly do not traffic) would have bought a new bag, or at the very least, rummaged in the cupboards for one of those "Hey! I forgot I had that!" items. Not me. No, ma'am. I am just not materialistic like that. I stuck with Old Faithful.

A few annoying things started to happen. One day I was showering at the gym when I realized I had no shampoo. I had to use the industrial soap in the big metal dispenser. I later found the shampoo in the crawl space under my car seat. A few days later, my socks were mysteriously missing, and I had cold ankles all day. Those have never been seen again. A tiny glimmer of realization began to penetrate the murk in my mind: it was time to get a new bag.

Yesterday we went to Target, and I perused the duffel options in the Luggage section. They were all pricier than I'd foreseen, including an Eddie Bauer number with multiple bells and whistles for nearly 40 dollars. Yowza! Then I spotted a series of nylon envelopes in several colors. Reading the fine print, I discovered they contained duffels, with their own carrying case. The colors were pleasing--I chose midnight blue (preferring the sky blue, but imagining it dirty.) The price? $10.99, thank you very much.

This morning, I cut off the tags and began to fill the bag with my gym stuff, which took on a fresh patina in the shiny new surroundings. The bag is roomy, and stylish, with a padded shoulder piece for those long treks to and from the car, laden with ablutions. I was lovin' it, and loving myself for picking it out.

Then I changed into my workout clothes, put my hair in a pony tail, brushed my teeth, and headed to the door. There was only one little problem.

I could only find one shoe.

No biggie, I thought, it's bound to have rolled under the seat in the car. Or maybe Jarrah stuffed it into one of her squirrel caches. I'll just have a quick look-see and be on my way.

Nope.

Desperate now, I searched everything. I considered who I might call, but couldn't remember where I'd been recently. "Hello? Do you happen to have one blue New Balance in your lost and found?"

There went the workout. Or a walk. I checked my closet for older models--nada. Admitting defeat, I showered and dressed, and headed back out to the car.

To go buy new running shoes. Which were not cheap, even though I got them at DSW. Even as I rationalized that I really needed new ones (it had been a couple of years) I mentally kicked myself for my negligence.

On the plus side, I have spanking new Nikes, which feel like angel's pillows caressing my feet.

13 comments:

Amanda said...

A new bag, and new shoes! Wow what a week. I am completely like you. I don't buy new things until I have to.

erin said...

I have this weird thing where I can only buy adidas. I can usually find them on sale, but they're still always more than I would have liked to spend. Yet everytime I look at a different brand I feel like a traitor. Strange, eh?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Those shoes are important to your feet, knees, hips, and back. You could have ended up with plantar fascitis, joint damage, or back pain.

And that old bag? (Not me, the gym bag.) It would have caused rotator cuff irritation.

Feel better about spending the extra money?

Is there anything you want to tell me about your car? I can help justify why a new one is necessary for you.

Aunt LoLo said...

ooh, girl - gettin' all decked out to whip our tushies!! ;-) Enjoy those angel pillows on your feet...

Sam said...

@Cheri: My car is a 2001 Maxima. Whatcha think? Is it time? :)

@Erin: No, not strange. You ARE a traitor. ;)

@Everyone: So...is it coming across that I lost the shoe BECAUSE I had a bag with no zipper? Just wondering...

Paul and Heather said...

A new bag AND new shoes!
What a week!!!

Jen said...

Yep, got that connection with the broken zipper! ;-) Thank you for a hilarious post. Glad your tootsies are happy now.

Miss J

The Wades said...

Pictures??! I need to see these bags. I'm just so impressed you go to a gym. We don't have those here in New Mexico.

Anonymous said...

A duffel with its own carrying case ?

Marlene said...

May you always have angel pillows, my friend. How rarely we take care of ourselves when we become parents, eh?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

@Sam: It came across. You are always clear. I'm just saying, it was time for new shoes anyway. Same logic applies to the car. The old car will cost increasingly more to maintain, it hasn't all of the latest safety features, and you can save on fuel and get tax breaks if you opt for a hybrid. :-D

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

P.S. I'm a one-woman economic stimulus package, aren't I?

G-D said...

A bottle of shampoo that I left in my gym bag (both of which I left in my car) exploded during a recent freeze. A mess, but at least a good smelling one. I sympathize.