A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a small band of rebels fought the evil Empire of Time in their quest to write, shoot, edit and cross the finish line in 48 hours with a precious and coveted cargo: a truly stellar short film.
That was seven years ago, Dear Readers, and our rebels have become stronger. They've expanded their ranks with The Force--otherwise known as Creative Talent--and grown wise as they faced down the Terrible Trials of Film, including but not limited to Corruption, Lost Audio, Un-Sync, Script Gigantism, Intergalactic Warring and Creeping Red Vine Sickness. And lo, they have prevailed. Except when they didn't prevail, and lo, they were disqualified for Lateness.
But have they given up, Readers? Turned their star destroyers around and slunk back to the Planet of Low Adrenalin? No, Readers. That is not the way with our rebels. The Force is strong with them, and though they have every bit as much chance of suffering grave perils this year, they are bravely facing battle once again. As a very wise little green person once said, "Try? There is no try. Only do."
In these seven years, we've lost some warriors along the way (Matt Archer, we salute you. Hope you're enjoying married life.) We've shed some tears. (All from the ducts of This Fearless Writer.) We've had lows. (Two disqualifications.) And oh, we've had highs. (Nearly all of them last year, when audiences embraced us and we bagged 10 percent of the gross.)
It should tell you something about our dedication to the cause that rereading my own set diary from last year gave me a burning throat and tears struggling to be set free. And that I haven't slept well in weeks, so convinced am I that this will be the year I'll search the wide expanse of my brain for a perfect script and it will be as dusty and barren as Tatooine.
In a new development, our band has attracted the attention of dignitaries from other planets, and we will be shadowed by a reporter from the San Diego Union-Tribune during shooting on Saturday, eager to uncover the secrets to our mission, hopefully not to sell them to The Empire or other teams. You, Dear Readers, I know to be scrupulous supporters, so do check us out in this Sunday's Arts and Currents section.
And by all means, come out and see us on the big screen at the UltraStar Mission Valley Cinemas on Wednesday, July 28th at 8:00 p.m. This year we've been promised a red carpet premiere with paparazzi and all (hopefully, not a trap--we rebels don't want to be undone by our vanity.)
And if you feel so moved to break free from the crowd and passionately shout "I love you!" you can be sure we will respond...