Saturday, March 13, 2010

Day 13: What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Four years in, here are a few things I find strange about being a mother:

1. It took a kid to get me to libraries, museums, concerts, theme parks, beaches, and the myriad attractions boasted by my fair city. Before her, I just sat around watching TV, eating cherry pie filling out of the can--now I have to wait until she's in bed to do that so I'm not a bad influence.

2. I see toddlers with fat diaper tushies waddling around and get all nostalgic for Jarrah's diaper tushy. Because changing diapers six times a day was a super-hip lifestyle.

3. There is a person whose head I want to grip and cover with loud kisses when they're in the middle of telling a story about Scooby-Doo (besides David.)

4. I have absolutely no problem saying "No." Who knew?

5. She will devour avocado, fish, cottage cheese, pork products, runny eggs and pumpkin pie as if these things were actually food. Whatever.

6. All I have to do to get a thudding pain like an anvil on my heart is open her door when she's sleeping.

7. Princesses have turned out to be my best friends. There is nothing else that will give me an entire hour of peace besides a box full of tiny rubber people and their accessories.

8. It is no longer possible for me to see a juice box without offering to open it, even if it belongs to a child in the mall whom I've never seen before. Same goes for cutting things into little pieces.

9. I saw Crazy Heart and got instantly why she couldn't stay with him after he lost her kid because he stopped for a drink. It wasn't the drinking. It wasn't the losing. It was the CHOICE. And I knew that yeah, you will ALWAYS have another chance with me when you blow it. When you blow it with my kid? You're done.

10. It's not so bad being vomited on if it's your kid doing the vomiting. It doesn't even make me gag because I'm too busy figuring out how to make her feel better. But I still won't share my drink--my backwash aversion holds fast.

Care to play, Readers?


erin said...

Oh I got one!

Why is it that I'm not completely and totally annoyed when Elijah insists on standing between my knees while I pee in the morning? It's like he has to stay close to me to prevent me from getting back into bed after I pee.

Oh and my eyes water every time I read Llama Llama Mad at Mama...or Llama Llama Misses Mama...or Llama Llama Red Pajama, to Maxine Jane. Or if I see it on Amazon, even worse when I see it in a bookstore.

katydidnot said...

Frankly? I'm just relieved you're holding firm on the backwash. That's a deal-breaker for me.

Blankets and chairs that can be turned into forts are my princesses.

Jen said...

Yeah, I can interrupt lunch to change a poopy diaper and go right back to it without skipping a beat.

I agree about the backwash, though. :-)

Anonymous said...

After becoming a mother and getting to know a few, I was overwhelmed at the realization that most of them actually liked their kids. I truly thought my own affection for my kid was unusual...

Paul and Heather said...

I am with you on the backwash...DEAL BREAKER for sure.

The feeling of her little arms wrapped tight around my neck in a hug is one of the COOLEST feelings on the planet. Who knew that would happen.

And as much as she may piss me off one night, I can't go to sleep without sneaking in her room and looking at her sleeping. She is ALWAYS an angel when she is sleeping.

The Wades said...

I think I need to see Crazy Heart.

I can handle backwash a lot better from my four year old rather than than his three older siblings. Crazy, I know. Could it be because he's still cute and cuddly so his spit isn't as nasty?