Four years in, here are a few things I find strange about being a mother:
1. It took a kid to get me to libraries, museums, concerts, theme parks, beaches, and the myriad attractions boasted by my fair city. Before her, I just sat around watching TV, eating cherry pie filling out of the can--now I have to wait until she's in bed to do that so I'm not a bad influence.
2. I see toddlers with fat diaper tushies waddling around and get all nostalgic for Jarrah's diaper tushy. Because changing diapers six times a day was a super-hip lifestyle.
3. There is a person whose head I want to grip and cover with loud kisses when they're in the middle of telling a story about Scooby-Doo (besides David.)
4. I have absolutely no problem saying "No." Who knew?
5. She will devour avocado, fish, cottage cheese, pork products, runny eggs and pumpkin pie as if these things were actually food. Whatever.
6. All I have to do to get a thudding pain like an anvil on my heart is open her door when she's sleeping.
7. Princesses have turned out to be my best friends. There is nothing else that will give me an entire hour of peace besides a box full of tiny rubber people and their accessories.
8. It is no longer possible for me to see a juice box without offering to open it, even if it belongs to a child in the mall whom I've never seen before. Same goes for cutting things into little pieces.
9. I saw Crazy Heart and got instantly why she couldn't stay with him after he lost her kid because he stopped for a drink. It wasn't the drinking. It wasn't the losing. It was the CHOICE. And I knew that yeah, you will ALWAYS have another chance with me when you blow it. When you blow it with my kid? You're done.
10. It's not so bad being vomited on if it's your kid doing the vomiting. It doesn't even make me gag because I'm too busy figuring out how to make her feel better. But I still won't share my drink--my backwash aversion holds fast.
Care to play, Readers?