Masterpiece Theater With Jarrah

This morning, getting ready for school:

Sam: Hey, did Daddy put that new bubble bath I got you in your bath last night?

Jarrah: Yeah. Thank you! It smells like potatoes.

Sam: Potatoes! It's supposed to smell like vanilla.

Jarrah: No, potatoes.

Sam: I hope not. I got the matching lotion, and that is NOT the kind of thing a girl wants to smell like.

Jarrah: Is it the kind of thing a boy wants to smell like?

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Driving home from school yesterday:

Jarrah: Nico and Benja are going on "fo-cation" to CHEE-lay.

Sam: Oh, that's cool!

Jarrah: CHEE-lay is very far away.

Sam: I know! It's in South America. It's the longest country in the world.

Jarrah: Yes, and it's VERY cold there.

Sam: Is that what you heard?

Jarrah: Yes. That is what CHEE-lay means. "Very cold."

Sam: BWAAA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Jarrah: Don't laugh. It's a simple fact.

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Out of the clear blue sky while eating dinner a few nights ago:

Jarrah: When is Santa coming?

Sam: Um...well...Christmas has passed, so not for a while. (feeling a bit saucy) And anyway, I think we're on Santa's naughty list.

Jarrah: (whispering behind her hand) I think we're on Santa's JEWISH list.

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After I discovered that she'd raked a finger across every single one of FIFTY cupcakes that Calvin and I baked for her birthday party:

Sam: JARRAH! COME IN HERE THIS MINUTE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WHEN YOU KNOW MOMMY HAS BEEN WORKING SO HARD TO MAKE YOU A NICE BIRTHDAY PARTY!?!

Jarrah: (crying) I'm sorry, Mommy!

Sam: WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS?!

Jarrah: Because...I just can't resist frosting!