I Heart Erin

Erin of Blogging Is For Dorks (don't you love that name?) tagged me with the following meme that she made up all by herself. I would feel all special except that she tagged the entire blogosphere, so don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark.

I don't usually gush about other bloggers (and what is wrong with me? I should!) but I'm going to today. The girl speaks her mind, and does it hilariously. She also manages to be upright and breathing even though she has four children and--are you ready for this?--she's 28. And none of them are babies. As if that's not inspiration enough, she also knits these little hats that are so cute you want to frost and eat them. I especially love Erin because she reads all my posts and says nice things about them. I'm sort of simple-minded that way. And though she may not know this, she was my very first follower: what possessed her, I may never know, but I am thankful often.


1. Describe the person nearest to you, or if no one is near you at this moment the person who was last nearest to you, duh.

I think it was David, when he smooched me goodbye before driving Jarrah and Amelia to gymnastics camp. His hair was wet and cold; his lips were soft. He is 6'2", Australian and has a tendency to bump into things. He's also an evil genius. Just the other day, a lamp we got as a wedding present wouldn't turn on anymore. He went to Home Depot and masterminded a recovery operation with his vast knowledge of electricity, and damn if that thing isn't better than new. It's like he said "Let there be light!" and there was.

2. Who do you think you resemble most in your immediate family and why?

We have one of those weird families where no one looks that much like anyone else. I have heard "Gasp! You look just like your father!" and "Gasp! You look just like your mother!" usually when I was with the opposite side of the family. I have been told I look like both my sisters at various times in my life. I've never heard that I look like my brother; in fact, one time at a high school party (we were only a grade apart) someone asked us how long we'd been dating. Believe it or not, I have even been told I look like Jarrah once or twice, to which I had no response.

3. Who do you think (what nation, group or individual) is the biggest threat to our nation's security?

Definitely Australia. For one thing, they have all these subversive ideas like mandatory voting. They're suspiciously cheerful and easy-going. Also, they sent Olivia Newton-John and AC/DC over here to spy on us. And they have an international plot to infiltrate our water supply with an extremely toxic substance: Vegemite. Their military industrial complex runs on it. It's deadly and difficult to detect until it's too late.

4. What do you do at night before you go to sleep? Do you have any rituals, usual behaviors?

The whole idea of bedtime rituals has become more elastic since parenthood. I used to have a lengthy regimen of creams and potions that had to be applied in a precise order. Now I'm lucky to brush my teeth. I do have to read before bed, even if it's crazy-late, even if it's just a page or two. It's the beginning of my body's shut-down response and has been since childhood.

5. What's the most challenging thing about being a parent? OR If you don't have children, what do you think will be the most challenging thing about being a parent?

I had heard that I'd be tired, so I was prepared for that. But it's not the physical tiredness, it's the fact that I lost the space in my head completely and don't think I'll get it back. That head space is filled up with my kid's needs and schedule now, and I think that's also why my short-term memory is so bad. Also, boundaries: I came to the parenthood table very late, when the appetizers were already gone and the soup had been cleared. I had to jump right into the entree, and I'm still a little unsettled. When do I get to do whatever I want, and first? Oh, never. Thanks for clearing that up.

6. What do you think is your most attractive feature?

My eyes. They are an unusual mix of colors, and even strangers comment on them.

7. Who is your favorite blog friend? Link them!

I don't really like to play favorites. But I certainly have a lot of blogs I like, including the one above.

8. Max just got in trouble for hitting Olivia in the throat. She's now sitting in time out screaming 'I'm STUPID!' at the top of her lungs. Should I ignore her till her time out is over, or should I talk to her now and ruin the time out?

Em, I think scenarios like this are why I decided to stop at one child. I am useless on the subject of time-outs--my kid won't do them. If we so much as mention a time-out, she hits us.

9. Who was the first person you kissed and where are they now?

Aw, what a great question. It was Steve Cohen, at Camp Alonim in Simi Valley. I was twelve. Wherefore art thou, Steve? He was the Bunk Six hottie. I couldn't believe he liked me. On movie night, he pulled me inside his sleeping bag and stuck his tongue in my mouth. It was sort of limp and mushy, and I thought "Oh, this is not something I'm going to want to do all the time." We ended up doing it lots more, and it got better. The funny thing is, all the cool kids were talking about "Frenching," and I thought I was behind the power curve. Looking back, all the clues suggest I was actually the first girl in Bunk Six to do it.

10.Ok, here's the final crapola questionado: What's the grossest thing you've ever done or has ever happened to you?

Nothing can compete with Erin's story about getting baby poop in her mouth. Nothing. But there was the time we took Jarrah to the emergency room with pneumonia and while I was holding her in the check-in line, she vomited into my cleavage. The sensation of hot vomit sliding down my torso and gluing my t-shirt to my skin stays with me, like the smell of New York City on an August night. And I had to wear it for the next six hours.