Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Concrete and The Clay

I am dementedly tired. I don't get any sleep lately unless I am Benadryl'd into oblivion, and I prefer not to. For three weeks now, my sinuses have behaved like they're rented. I have an appointment with a fancy-shmancy ENT next week, but she is "out of network." Does this mean I'm going to have to pay a million dollars for her to look up my nose with a flashlight? This was the conversation I had with her receptionist yesterday:

Her: So, what's the problem?

Me: My nose is stuffed. I can't breathe. Day or night.

Her: So...you have sinusitis?

Me: (pause) My nose is stuffed.

Her: So...you suffer from allergies?

Me: (longer pause) Um, my nose is stuffed?

Me: (if I weren't so polite): Um, I'm sorry. You seem to be under some misapprension that I, too, am an ENT. If I were, I'm not sure I would be calling your boss, especially since she's out of network. I think I would just diagnose myself, and write a nice little prescription for some particularly lovely drugs, and call it a day. However, I am not an ENT, nor a medical professional of any kind. Ergo, I am calling you for an appointment, so I can get an opinion that ACTUALLY MEANS SOMETHING.

Today is my eighth wedding anniversary. By some thundering coincidence, it's also David's. Isn't that cool? I can't believe I've been married EIGHT YEARS. Especially since we've been together almost ELEVEN. Before this, neither of us had been with anyone longer than a year. So we must be doing something right. We're going out to a new French restaurant (it must be some kind of California-style French, because the menu looked good rather than scary to me) and I will be wearing the flower earrings my thoughtful husband gave me at breakfast this morning. Ain't he sweet? But he's taken.

In honor of our anniversary, I took myself out for a massage this morning (you're probably thinking, "Gosh, that girl has massage every day of the week. What a life!" but it's actually been a month--I'm on a plan.) I had managed to snag an appointment with Amanda, who's my favorite, and it was pretty great. And because I'm feeling magnanimous today, I didn't even get ruffled when she finished by whispering in my ear:

"All set, Stephanie. How are you feeling?"

Well, I was feeling fine, thank you very much. I'm not sure how Stephanie was feeling at the moment. (Steph? How were you at about 12:30 today?) Normally, I really get my hackles up when someone calls me the wrong name. I'm not saying that I'm right to get my hackles up, just that I do--it's probably some deep-seated insecurity rising up from the roiling sea of my soul--but today I was feeling pretty darn good and decided to see the situation from a fresh angle. She caught herself right away.

"I mean, Samantha. Where did that come from?"

I laughed. "Actually, I get that all the time." (It's true!)

"You do? I wonder why."

"You know, long name...lots of syllables..starts with an S." I positively giggled with delight over my equanimity. I was ready to tell her that, as a child, a lot of people called me Amanda (it's true!) because I was horribly, painfully shy (it's true!) and when anyone asked my name I mumbled it straight into my shirt. I guess it came out like "Amanda" because the large person would inevitably give my shoulder a hearty smack and boom, "Well, Amanda, that's a lovely name!"

And it was. It is. Just not mine. At which point I would be horrified into a state of rigor mortis and wouldn't even correct them. So I was Amanda for much of my childhood. Believe it or not, there were NO Samanthas then. None. I know you're thinking, "That Sam--always with the exaggerating." Not this time. I met my first Samantha peer at 25.

So, here are some questions for you today, Readers. Do you have an anniversary, of whatever kind, coming up, and how will you celebrate?

And do people ever get your name wrong?

P.S. Bonus points if you know why this post has the title it does.

25 comments:

Amanda said...

I have to agree that Amanda is a lovely name (lol).
Happy Anniv!!

I got called Miranda a lot as a kid.

And no bonus points for me, sorry. I feel like I should know.
I will be back to see what the answer is though!

Stephanie said...

Happy Anniversary!

I only wish I were on a massage table at 12:30 today, instead I was driving all over the county--school, work, hospital, work, school and hopefully hospital again before midnight tonight. Ugh. If ever my beloved saw fit to drink a glass of water he might not be inconveniencing me this way with kidney stones!

If someone gets my name wrong, it's almost always Jennifer.

Have a wonderful time tonight!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Title: One is David and one is Stephanie, uh, Samantha?

I WISH I KNEW.

Happy Anniversary!

Earrings. Massage. Dinner. Nice!

Sam said...

@Amanda: LOL! It sure is. :)

@Steph: Oh no! I will e-mail you. Jennifer? Really?

@Cheri: I like your guess! :) But no. Here's a hint for anyone who wants to play: Googling the title won't give you the answer, but it's a big hint.

Aunt LoLo said...

Umm..no idea on the title. :-p

and called by the wrong name? Are you serious? ;-) I was called by Myrnie's name until I moved out here a year ago!! Now, since my "real" nickname is (technically)a boy's name...well, nobody ever forgets it. hahahaha

Happy Anniversary!

Myrnie said...

Yeah, no clue on the title. But then again, I'm not all that savvy :)

And yeah, I got the wrong name all the time :) People used to ask, kind of quietly like it was something juicy, "So, did you ever...trade places?" Umm..no. What's the point? No one could tell anyway, and LoLo didn't have a clue how to fake her way through my classes :)

Jen said...

Hmmm. Is this a reference to your anniversary? Your indestructible love? ;-) Happy Anniversary, by the way! I mean to tell you so yesterday in our little FB chat and then got booted off the computer.

I usually get Jessica. I like Amanda, though!

xo
Miss J

erin said...

Happy Anniversary! Eight seems like a hefty number, congrats.
I didn't get called other names very often, but teachers always pulled this crap, "Let's send Erin on an errand." or "I have an errand to run, Erin?".

dena said...

Happy Anniversary to you!

Keith and I celebrate our 13th on June 1st (even though we've been together ~18). We'll be on a Disney cruise with extended family. We are going to dinner at the 5-star restraunt on board (Palo's) and plan on spending some time in the adults-only pool area that day!

Jennifer said...

Happy Anniversary! I used to get called Jenny a lot...of course that's not far off from Jennifer, but I hated it!! I had to correct people all the time. A friend of the family still says, "Hi Jennifer not Jenny" every single time he sees me.

No clue on the title either!

David said...

Popularity of the name Samantha over time -- see link: http://tr.im/SamName
I will leave it up to my lovely Samantha if she wants to reveal where on that curve she is. :)

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Googling won't give the answer but it is a HINT?

You're killing me.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I Googled anyway.

The indestructible love of the singer and his lover?

"The sidewalks in the street, the concrete and the clay
Beneath my feet begins to crumble, but love will never die
Because we'll see the mountains tumble, before we say goodbye"

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

"Every structure moves, if only imperceptibly to the unaided human eye. Its “natural frequency” — the frequency at which it naturally wants to oscillate — depends on such factors as its geometry, the materials with which it was built, and the soil on which it rests. However, when a structure moves by an abnormal amount (for example, in an earthquake), those responsible for it need to know, especially if it is a very large one — say, a dam, a highway bridge, or a a skyscraper. To monitor the deformation of such structures engineers increasingly use GPS-based systems."

I can just keep pasting in my Google results. Or you call tell us.

Seriously?

You're fun.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

It was the song for your first dance at your wedding?

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

You have to see where solving this dang puzzle has led me: Concrete and ClayI'm slightly traumatized, and quite amused.

I'll stop leaving comments now.

Stephanie said...

@Cheri, I couldn't resist, now I too am traumatized!

The Concrete and the Clay may be what is filling your sinuses...

David said...

To help undo the damage of that video. Here is the answer.

Laural Out Loud said...

That is exactly the kind of thing I alawys WANT to say when dealing with idiots on the other end of the phone, but never have the courage to actually get out. You're awesome!

DrSpouse said...

I assumed it was the stuffing for the sinuses, too. And happy anniversary to you both.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Dear Sam & David,

WHAT DO I WIN?

Here's what I want: To be on the team of the next 48-hour film project. By team I mean that I'll shut up (yes, I will), do what I'm told, and love Sam even more when it's over because having read her postmortem posts after these projects over the years I already know what I'm getting into.

WHAT DO I WIN?

It was the song for your first dance at your wedding!

Boo-YA!

What do I win?

If you're not doing the 48-hour project, I'll settle for a playdate with Jarrah in my pool.

XOXO

Sam said...

@Cheri,

You do indeed win. And we are doing 48 Hours, so be careful what you wish for. :)

As for your other prizes, I will think about that. :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary to you both. People often call me Joanne: I actually rather like it!
Hope you sort out those sinuses soon.
Love Joan and John

Marlene said...

Congratulations, Sam (and David). You know, there really is a "seven-year itch," so it's an accomplishment to make it so far. You two are a couple that I admire and think of as models. Love to you and your happy family.
xo

Anonymous said...

I'm late to the game, so someone else has certainly gotten this question right already... but that is the song that you guys danced to at your wedding for your first dance! I still remember how much fun it was seeing you guys spinning expertly all around the floor (those lessons were a wise investment!). And you were mouthing the words the whole time, which was particularly cute.
I LOVE the Rushmore soundtrack and Claire and I listen to it all the time -- and your song is a particularly good one for us to dance to together.Happy Anniversary! xx lix