Sunday, April 06, 2008

The Full-On Camille Syndrome

I feel like crapcake on toast, which is a familiar "Play It Again, Sam" kind of refrain around here now that I live with Little Typhoid Mary's Cousin from Chongqing.

Both Jarrah and I have been languishing all week, and today the indignation level rose to burnt sienna when we had to miss a much-anticipated birthday party at Playtown. So David took Jarrah off to see her doctor and I girded my loins for the long weekend wait at Urgent Care.

The results, Dear Readers? Matching mother-daughter flus, with coordinating stoles! Jarrah told me that she "cried and cried" when they put the stick up her nose. I didn't cry, but I didn't like it. Nor did I like the various other swabs of my mucus membranes. Or the hour-long wait to see the triage nurse with some sort of "Playboy Bunnies Marooned On a Desert Island" movie-of-the-week blaring directly over my head. In concert with a symphony of hacking coughs. I went through an entire box of tissues while I waited.

The doc was funny, though. She sat down next to me and said, "I'm sorry to break it to you, but you've got some serious crud." Having heard from the nurse that my daughter had just been diagnosed with flu, too, she continued: "As a mother myself, I want to tell you something about children: they're cute, but they're dangerous." She was so jaunty, I almost forgot that my throat feels like the face of the sun.

After I explained that codeine makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack, she prescribed what Wikipedia describes as "a non-narcotic opiate for moderate to severe pain" which apparently I've built up a tolerance to without even taking, as the first dose barely took the edge off. Tonight I may have to dive whole-hog into "junkie in training" mode--I'm that desperate for pain-free sleep.

And later I cried to my husband, "I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'm the one most qualified for the job!" So far he's the only one holding steady at Chez Virusenia.

But enough about me...what do YOU think about me?


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

So sorry to hear this--get better soon.

Caroline said...

Oh, ow. :( Sending lots and lots of anti-crud vibes your way and wishes for pain-free days *and* nights.

Robyn said...

I think you're faaaaabulous, dahling. I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling crappy and I hope you start feeling better right away. Now that you mention it my throat has been starting to bother me and my nose is getting stuffy, too! Thanks for sharing!! :) At least I'm headed home tomorrow for some rest. I'll cross my fingers that it's just a little cold and not the real flu.

You looked amazing when I saw you and I am glad your illness didn't preclude you from teaching the super fun and emotional Nia class on Friday. I sure hope you feel better quickly. Take care and I'll write soon.



Mary and Paul said...

I am so sorry that you both have the flu! That is really awful!

I hope you are all well soon!

Let us know if we can do anything.

Big Hugs,


Jennifer said...

Sorry you are feeling bad! I think you are quite amazing to have any interest in blogging when you are sick. I prefer to be alone and sleep. ha! Kudos to you for finding blogging material at the doctor's office! Hope you and Jarrah are feeling better soon!

Jen said...

I think you're fabulous, too!

I am so sorry to hear about your and Jarrah's flu and I really, really hope you are both feeling better very soon!!!

Miss J

P.S. Sage watched the gopher movie for about 10 seconds and got scared of it! I'll try it again in a few days. Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you and Jarrah feel so awful. Get well, and let me know if I can do anything! I'm in the 'hood, after all.


Jenn said...

I think you are fabulous for writing while you are sick and have a sick child. I think your husband is fabulous for getting you two better. Need a pot of chicken soup?? I think it's bad enough when just H is sick. I can't imagine being sick with her!!

Feel better soon. hugs and smooches

Cheri said...

Oh, you poor dear sweetie. Feel better!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you've been sick! Hope you're all better by now. How's the acting workshop going? Thinking of you three! xx lix

Anonymous said...

I hope you & J Dust are feeling better soon & that David's ass is back as it should be.