Monday, December 07, 2009

It Never Rains In Southern California

Long weekend, mostly nocturnal. During the day I was barely sentient. Which is my own fault, because I stay up too late after shows, and I've never had this three-a-weekend schedule before. It's kicking my ass. (And not just the pillow one.)

Saturday night was indeed a come-down after the Friday Night Howlers. They were very polite and restrained on Saturday. Two of my writing students came, and one even told me that she thought it was very funny but didn't want to laugh too loud because it would be unseemly. Hello? Unseemly is my middle name. Sunday night the laughter was back, but nothing close to Friday. I think Friday may have been the Hailey's Comet of audiences. At least I got to see it once. Saturday I was a bit spooked about forgetting lines and I think it made me tentative. Which is a bummer since David was making the video that night. Sunday night I was over it and back to making a valiant effort to chew the scenery. Mmmmm, scenery is tasty.

Sunday night my friend Bryan was there, all the way from L.A. It was the first time he'd come to one of my shows, and it was very exciting for me to finally have nabbed him. As I've mentioned previously, Bryan and I actually met in Drama class, and did our thespian initiation to a scene from Taming of the Shrew. He still greets me with the line "A combless cock! And Kate shall be my hen." from time to time. That was (gulp) 25 years ago. He went on to fame and glory in Hollywood (well, more than me--he was on Saved By The Bell) while I didn't soar higher than a medal for acting at the Cal State Fullerton Drama Festival my senior year. But Bryan and I are still as dramatic as ever, so it's a treat to have him in the audience.

It's been raining since I opened my eyes this morning and it's now 7:00 p.m., which is par for the course in some parts of the world, but seriously freaky for San Diego. There was a comedy of errors this afternoon when I picked Jarrah up from school and told her to wait in the car while I got the groceries. The grocery bags got wet when I opened the trunk, causing the bags to break, and while I was trying to stuff the escaping groceries in some different bags, my umbrella blew away. I was soaked to the skin with strawberries rolling around in my trunk when I heard a muted "Mama! Mama!", and saw Jarrah's face in the window with an "O" mouth and a pointing finger--in the direction of my umbrella, which was hightailing it down our street on the back of a monsoon-like wind. I chased it all the way down the block, laughing my head off. On the way back, Jarrah stared at me like I'd totally lost it.

Jarrah has been pillish of late and my fuse has been short. I find I am at my wit's end with the pointless tantrums at least once a day. Maybe my memory is bad, but didn't at least one of those many "your baby and child"-type books I scoured say that she would be an even-tempered angel, ready for an audience with the queen, by her fifth birthday? No? You don't remember that part? I'm pretty sure I read that. And we are definitely going to get kicked to the back of the line with the way things are going. I sometimes wonder if she acts out because I've been gone a lot (first with rehearsals, now with shows) or if the problem is on the other side: I'm too tired and impatient to parent effectively. It's worrisome, and also makes me feel guilty. That's my favorite combination of feelings. As snug as one of those blanket things with the sleeves.

7 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

"It's kicking my ass. (And not just the pillow one.)"

Oh my goodness. That is funny.

Jarrah's pillishness (not a word) will pass just like this weather. It will.

erin said...

Max seems to act out when she's not getting enough attention...but in reality how attentive can I really be? I'm busy kid. Get outta here.

But really, their dad spends a lot of time with Rose at soccer (she's on two teams and has practice/games 6 days a week) and Max is super duper ticked about it. I get the feeling that she used to spend a lot more time with her dad on his days and is now chilling with her paternal grandma instead (who she calls 'bad grandma'). Poor Max.

I'm glad your show is going well, but not glad for your lethargy. Get more rest or you'll get sick. That's an order.

Jennifer said...

You thought they were supposed to be "even tempered" by five??? Hmmm...I sure would like to know what book said that. Liars I say!! Five year olds go through so many changes that I haven't seen many that are even tempered. Just wait until she spends the day at school and comes home only to fall asleep at the dinner table. Kindergarten is great, but those first few weeks are exhausting...and not just for the kids! Take it from someone who knows!
I also know it will get better! They all just go through those spurts of times.

Jen said...

Oh, Miss S. I don't think it's anything you're doing or not doing. I think it's just that she's nearing 5. Truly! And you know what? Sometimes our parents are accessible to us, sometimes they're not, sometimes they're tired, and sometimes they're not, and that is a law of life, so if she's being even more pillish because of those circumstances, it is just part of the learning process.

Still impossible not to blame ourselves a bit, though, even if we know we are doing the best we can, huh.

Just think about the wonderful role model you are for her! That is so valuable.

xo
Miss J

Sam said...

@Cheri: Thanks, dear. :)

@Jennifer: Oh, that's a relief. And you are working with a much bigger population sample than I am. :)

@Erin: Thanks, Sis, but oh, too late! I feel like crapcake today. Think I pushed it too far...

Sam said...

Thank you, Miss J! :) You always make me feel good.

You really think I'm a good role model? :) Sometimes I wonder if the message I'm sending is "Be totally selfish. Because that's what feels good." Ugh. :)

The Wades said...

I had fun visualizing Jarrah in the umbrella scene. Crazy mama! :)