Wednesday, December 09, 2009

I Need A T-Shirt With A "P," For "Punished."

The piper has arrived, demanding payment, claiming I'm in arrears. I'm sick. Oh happy joy.

I actually woke David up in the middle of the night (well, I'm sure I was doing that anyway, with all my sniffling) to ask if he thought I had swine flu. He clamped a hand on my forehead and said:

"No. You're cool."

"So?"

"You can't have swine flu without a fever."

"Oh. And you're sure I don't have a fever?"

"I'm sure. Also, do you have aches and pains?"

"No."

"You don't have swine flu."

Well, okay then. But my stupid nose is crazy-stuffed, and I'm going through tissues like I just watched Marley and Me.

Also, I have a strong desire to lay on the couch with blankies and a heating pad, watching trashy movies, drinking Gatorade, eating food high in partially hydrogenated oil, and pouting.

What's that a symptom of?

I want to say I've learned my lesson--NO MORE LATE NIGHTS FOR ME! But no. I haven't learned a damn thing. I just want to get better by Friday so I don't have a Rudolph nose on stage and so I can stay up late again.

You wouldn't think I'd been around long enough to have learned a thing or two, would you? Don't answer that.

8 comments:

miss. chief said...

That's a symptom of a too-busy life. Take a break if you can.

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

You need a Neti pot.

Or a mud bath.

But seriously, get the Neti pot. It will heal you. Magically.

The Wades said...

I am always on the verge of swine flu. With whatever ails me, Max now just answers with, "It's sinus cancer." "You had bone cancer." Something like that shuts me up. I always think I have the worst possible thing so he goes ahead and says I do--some how that eases my mind.

Glad you're not feverish. Go ahead and eat the hydrogenated oils. They help.

Stephanie said...

"P" is for Professional, you pick of what...

Prosy said...

what is it about Gatorade that is medicinal? I HAVE to have it when I'm sick. Heaven help you if you bring me powerade.

Jennifer said...

Sorry you aren't feeling well. Stay up late and have a good time. It doesn't make you sick!! That's what I tell myself anyway. Just like I tell my mom it doesn't make me sick to go outside without a hat when it's cold. :)

The Wades said...

Jennifer's right--it's the germs that do you in. Next time when you're out galavanting, remember to wash your hands more often.

Hope you're feeling better.

Sam said...

@Jennifer: Thanks for your endorsement! :)

@Michelle: I know, I know, germs. But I am an obsessive hand washer. So I don't know how much more I could wash my hands without developing a social disorder. ;)