It Is Nigh

I can't believe that in a scant few hours we'll be on our way. I actually feel strangely peaceful today, or as peaceful as anyone can feel when they're packing. That's right, we're still packing--got something to say? :) Those of you who have known me a long time won't be surprised. When I went to live in England for a year I packed a few hours before. Packing is not my strong suit. (Hey! Strong suit! Get it?) I think it's because it's so hard for me to commit. Which under the current circumstances is kind of ironic. I can commit to motherhood, but not to which color velour sweatpants I'd prefer.

Though my jaw is relaxed and I don't seem to be clenching my buns, I decided to forego the gym for a pleasant, sunny hike in Mission Trails this afternoon. I figured the fresh air would do me good, and I like to get the circulation going before I sit on a plane. At first it was lovely. The birds were chirping, the grasses were blowing, and I was the only one on the trail. Then, after a few minutes of walking away from the direction of civilization, it hit me: I was the only one on the trail. Suddenly my steps seemed very loud, and what was that unnecessary rustling to the left? The right? Behind me? ACK! I started walking faster, my heart pounding, and it occurred to me that this was the first time in my life I've hiked by myself. Wait, calm down, I've WALKED by myself many times, often every day, sometimes long-ish distances. But always in the city with other people around, and without a lot of freakish NATURE getting all spooky on my ass. Nature is so unpredictable--birds fly at you suddenly, lizards run across your path, branches crack...it's an unruly mess.

Anyway, I survived. If a crazy man had accosted me, I had a speech planned about how I was about to adopt a defenseless child. If a crazy bear had accosted me...well, even I was able to rationalize that we don't have bears around here. And as I couldn't really picture myself reasoning with a coyote or a bobcat, I crowded that scenario right out of my mind. In the end, the only beasts I saw were a young man on a mountain bike, and an old man hauling himself up the hill with the aid of two walking sticks. Neither threatened me, and the latter bid me a polite good afternoon.

Now I must shower and get back to packing. My diaper bag (aka "carry on") is jam-packed with snack foods and magazines. I'm (almost) ready for action!