Thursday, November 12, 2009

Got Buns, Hon?

So, we have a new costume designer for the show. She's super-enthusiastic and determined to get us all kitted out in style.

One thing I need is some jeans that will accommodate a whole lot of stuffing or padding or whatever will make my butt look huge. Why, you ask? Who knows? It's the director's vision for the character. She eats cookies, loves A Chorus Line, adores her gay boyfriend, and has a big butt.

I had explained to our costume designer about the jeans, and she said she'd get me some at the thrift store. And she did. She handed them to me, along with a fabulous pink and white polka-dot belt, and told me to go try them on.

"Now, don't be freaked out by how HUGE they are. I know they're GIGANTIC. They're MASSIVE. Don't be freaked out. We're going to stuff them like crazy. Just use this belt to keep them up for now, and come back out here and show me. I can see from your face that you think they're HUGE. Don't worry. I promise it's going to work out. They're GIGANTIC but it's going to work. Trust me."

She's a talker, that one. So I took the jeans into the bathroom and slipped them on.

And they're exactly my size. Fit like a glove. A glove for a really, really, really big butt.

I emerged, smirking, and wordlessly pointed to my stylishly snug jeans.

She was crest-fallen for maybe half a second, and then her eyes brightened and her lovely smile burst forth once more.

"We are going to make this work! You'll see! (stuffing her hand inside my waistband) There's plenty of room in here! WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE THIS WORK!

That's what they always tell me. You better work, girl.


Aunt LoLo said...


Umm...congrats? I'm not really sure what to say. ;-)

Logical Libby said...

The padding would probably be really hot, anyway...

Sam said...

Well, I guess I didn't do a good job of conveying what's happening here, because I will be padded--A LOT--just probably not in these jeans. ;)


Jen said...

You know, I saw this coming. The minute she went on and on about how huge they were! Oh, Miss S! My sympathies. (But you know you DON'T have a huge butt, right? It's perfect just how it is.)


Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

You crack me up. You'll rock the pads. I know you will. :-D

Anonymous said...

Let me guess, is this the same genius who was behind the "age makeup" in that last show I saw? Um, it's not you, it's her? :) lix

Sam said...

LOL, Lix! No, this gal is new, and I love her, but she is a teeny little sprite of a thing, and I think she just couldn't imagine anyone's butt actually using up the space in those jeans.;)

Lion's Cub said...

she is a teeny little sprite of a thing, and I think she just couldn't imagine anyone's butt actually using up the space in those jeans.;)

she is so obviously *not* Jewish

Sam said...

No, Robin, there are never any Jews in PLAW except me and the director. (Wait a minute...!)

The Wades said...

Where is the comment I just wrote?? Do you have comment moderation now? If not, I said that there is no way the jeans would have even fit over my calves. Also, there is no way your butt is big--remember your massage with the fit comments? Go to that happy place. Your body rocks! :)