Planning and Pouting

Okay, smart and savvy womenfolk (yes, that means you!): I need some help.

Back when my little sis said she was expecting, I offered to throw her a shower. She happily accepted. I won't bog you down with all the back story, but that shower is coming up next weekend. And I'm at my wit's end. (Don't worry--in real life, my wit doesn't have an end.)

The particulars are these: My sister lives in L.A, a 2.5 hour drive (sans traffic) from here. A friend of hers whom I don't know offered to host at her house, in L.A. Another friend (none of us know each other) offered to help. Then I was handed a guest list of 42 people ("don't worry, most of them won't come") and told to have at it.

Though you may be aghast, I'm not great on the phone, especially with strangers. I really dragged my feet about contacting these two other "hosts." It just seemed so awkward. But now I was saddled with a wedding-sized gathering and quite nervous about how to get everything done, and more to the point--how to pay for it.

I sent out an e-mail to the others. I'll call them T and C. C wrote back that she will handle all beverages and flowers. Pretty specific. T said we had "free rain" of her place and sent an extremely long list of kitchen utensils that sounded like "Serving spoon. Chip n' dip. Crudite platter..." but went on for several pages. I wasn't sure what to do with this. So I sent another e-mail.

"Let's all say what talents and resources we'd like to contribute to the shower!" I euphemized. Hoping the issue of money would somehow come up. It didn't. Now I was even more worried.

If I didn't live so far away, I would go on a spree of baking, cooking and prepping and all would be well. But because the shower is in the morning, I need to drive up the day before. Which means all perishables will need to be purchased up there.

Last week, I sent another e-mail, asking if the two other gals planned to meet up with me on Saturday to shop, cook, decorate and plan. C said no. T said she would be out of the town until the party. She said she thought we'd agreed I had "food and extras" all covered.

I talked to my sister. (Confession: I texted her over and over saying "Call me immediately. Are you ignoring me??? until she called.) She said she would help me and not to worry. I refrained from writing back to T and C because I had a few choice words for them and those were not the words I wished to choose. Eventually, T wrote herself, asking where we were with everything. I told her I'd figure it out and that my sis was helping me.

She wrote back that she would rather cancel her trip than have my sister lift a finger. (She also said some other mysterious things that led me to believe either a) she doesn't realize the person in question is my sister or b) T thinks she's throwing a shower for someone else, because she told me that Sis "doesn't like cake" and "hates being the center of attention.") I wrote back and explained--for like the fifth time--that I live far away and don't have contacts in LA. I can't possibly shop and cook for that number of people by myself if I have to come up a day early. I can't prepare a meal on a hot plate in my car. She seemed mollified in her last message.

My gut reaction is to wash my hands of her and just accept that I won't be able to control anything about this party. My sister will help, and we'll get some bagels, throw together some Costco fruit salad, and I'll pick up cupcakes in San Diego that may be slightly stale by the next day. I've planned some games (even though T made it pretty clear she thinks they're tacky) and prizes, and I'm going to make homemade chocolates in the shape of baby things for favors. What else can I do?

I mean that literally, not rhetorically, Readers. If you were in this sticky wicket, what would you do? I've got a week for damage control, so don't be shy.