Day Thirteen: Oh, The Places You'll Go!

Things I Wouldn't Have Done Today If I Didn't Have a Three-Year-Old:

1. Drive to a business park warehouse in Spring Valley filled with an entire city of giant jump-jumps.

2. Shriek insanely upon hearing that adults could jump, too.

3. Shimmy up a "volcano" while holding on to a rope, practically throwing my back out.

4. Negotiate for 10 minutes about where to have lunch while accompanied by back seat moans of "Pizza! I want pizza!" "No, mac and cheese! Mac and cheese!"

5. End up at a Mexican place and use the children as scapegoats for why we needed chips and salsa immediately--after all, the kids were STARVING.

6. Confiscate all the silverware to my side of the table.

7. Declare that the sugar packets were "cookies," and inquire "Would you care for a cherry, madam? Or would you prefer a lemon?" then pretend to nibble on sugar packets with exaggerated "num num" sounds.

8. Precede entrance to the knitting shop across the street with this warning: "Do not run, yell, touch or breathe while we're inside."

9. Conduct a diaper change in a bathroom so tiny that the changee was wedged underneath the toilet and my back was against the wall as I repeated like a mantra "Don't move, don't move, please don't move."

10. Order a Hawaiian shave ice with a requested combination of vanilla and bubblegum, not only with a straight face, but thinking, "Actually, that sounds kind of good."