Nu Nu

Jarrah is afraid of The Nu Nu. The Nu Nu is a creature on Teletubbies who looks like a blue vacuum cleaner with goggly eyes and a big brush for a snout. Every time the Nu Nu trundles out, Jarrah screams and puts out her arms to be picked up. I reflexively shout "But Nu Nu tidy up!" because that's what the Teletubbies say and I have been reprogrammed. Jarrah, however, is still resisting. Unlike me, she doesn't go around all day trilling "Time for Tubby Bye-Bye! Time for Tubby Bye-Bye!" She has about 30 seconds worth of attention for the 'Tubbies, and mostly for the big yellow sun with a demented blue-eyed baby face. She likes to imitate the glee-shriek the baby sun makes as it shines on Tubby Land.

I am not so much a fan of the cartoons, like Clifford and Caiou and Dragon Tales (although the devilishly catchy "Dragon Tales, Dragon Tales, It's almost time for Dragon Tales" theme is also hard to shake) but have grown fond of the Kratt Brothers, who wear cargo shorts and sincerely huge grins as they talk about (and pet) animals with their furry puppet friend (I want to call him a marmoset, but I'm not really sure what a marmoset is.) There's something sort of sexy about a man who can muster that kind of enthusiasm about porcupine quills, and hangs out with his brother, too.

I used to think that people were just being hip when they rolled their eyes and said Barney was Satan; I thought it was some parental rite of passage. But now that I've actually seen Barney I can appreciate how truly evil he is. He seems achingly stupid, and his little yellow friend even more. But what's really horrifying are the live children who behave like alien pods, blinkless and grinning as they over-enunciate their lines. Who do these children belong to, and how can their parents live with themselves for inflicting this experience on them?

Luckily Jarrah seems to have innate good taste, and if she doesn't quite shudder as I do when Barney comes on, she is sensible enough to wander off immediately and find something more stimulating, like chewing a box.