1. Cool hats! And beads! I'm wearing all of them! Oh no, wait. I'm wearing this giant white bow on my head. I look like a million bucks in this bow.
2. Why is my tea cup smaller than everybody else's? Oooh, there's apple juice in it. Yum.
3. Oh my freaking stars. Please say those are actually pink, heart-shaped sugar cubes in that bowl. I'm eating all of them. Now.
4. The lady just asked me not to bang my knife and fork together over and over. Something about them being "old."
5. The food is on a tower! My ham sandwich is shaped like a flower! Why is it only one bite? Oh, all four of my sandwiches are only one bite. That's okay--I'll just eat Mommy's, too.
6. There is no point to the middle section. It seems to have some sort of fruit on it.
7. The clotted cream and lemon curd are in suspiciously tiny bowls. But I'll just lick them and then no one else will want them.
8. What's that you say? Break the scone into bite-size pieces? There you go. Bite-size pieces. Twenty-seven of them.
9. Mommy got a cupcake. I didn't. I'll just eat hers. She won't mind. Bet she'll hand over her truffle and her sugar cookie, too. Sweet! She did.
10. I want to go upstairs. I think there's something good up there. Possibly candy. Mommy says no. I'll just keep asking every few seconds.
11. Mommy says no every time I volunteer to eat the rest of the sugar cubes. Sensing a theme here?
12. I asked Mommy if we could go now. We've already been here 47 minutes. She said I could eat the rest of the sugar cubes.
13. Sugar cubes are gone. Can we go now?
14. The lady let me go upstairs. Mommy won't buy me a ceramic garden frog. She is no fun at all.
15. I'm starving! Can I eat the sugar cubes on the other tables?