Woohoo!

For some reason (for some reason?? Am I on crack? :)) all I want to do is write "woohoo!" in my e-mails, and say it to everyone, too.

Today's "woohoo!" (aside from the obvious "woohoo!" of everyday in which I'm woohoo-ing because I get to meet Ruo-Ruo soon!) is because we just got an e-mail saying our Travel Packet will be ready to download this evening! This is serious stuff, people! We get to apply for a Visa and send back our initial requests for flight and hotel arrangements. There's also a bunch of stuff for us to read so we can be prepared for the trip of a lifetime!

They had told us it would be a week and possibly more before this information was available, so the fact that it's ready early seems to suggest that we are on track to travel before Chinese New Year!

I need to say "woohoo" again. Woohoo! Okay, that's better.

Also, my brother, sister-in-law and two nieces just sent a huge package that turned out to be some sort of life-sized building blocks with the message "Happy Birthday, Ruo-Ruo!" That was incredible. I just stared at it, stunned. People are sending gifts to the house for a little person who will also live here! The third member of our household! Coming soon to an Allied Gardens near you! Also the fact that it's my brother is very special to me. I don't hear from him much, and it makes me feel really good that he's paying attention.

I also learned today that the kind of parents they have in mind in "Parenting" magazine are more like Martha Stewart than I am. I have undertaken a holiday cookie project that is quickly becoming totally unmanageable. More on the results of this little homemaking enterprise soon.

Tiny Bubbles

I am really run down but happy. And David seems over the moon. Every time he talks about Ruo-Ruo he gets this huge, dopey smile on his face, and I often catch him staring at her pictures. I can't wait to see him with the real thing.

This morning Mary and I took a NIA class with Marguerite, who is giving a White Belt in Encinitas. Today's routine was "Miracle," which seemed uncannily appropriate for the occasion. (For you NIA virgins, there are nearly 50 routines.) The last song of "Miracle" is a meditation/free dance in which everyone places an object of importance to them in the center of the room. Of course I had to put Ruo-Ruo's photo up there. I had underestimated, though, how intense it would be to see everyone in the class dancing around her. I was holding back tears a couple times. The song is "Thank You" by Sinead O'Connor:

Thank you for breaking my heart
Thank you for tearing me apart
Now I'm a strong, strong heart
Thank you for breaking my heart

Afterwards a new student complimented my photo and shared that her daughter, who's 2, is also adopted. We started talking and it turns out she has recently moved here and is very interested in Fortune Cookies. And she likes NIA! :)

Mary and I spent a happy afternoon going out to lunch and doing some shopping, and then picked up Paul for his 40th birthday dinner at Karl Strauss! I wonder if I will ever tire of passing Ruo-Ruo's pictures around and hearing lots of people ooh and ahh over her. Already, I couldn't agree with them more when they say she seems just perfect. :)

More of Matching Weekend

I'm incredibly tired and need to wake up early (no doubt both those states will become themes) but wanted to touch on another groundbreaking day. From the moment we awoke, we started tracking our match envelope through the FedEx website, and I was actually on the phone with Mary when theirs arrived, which was really cool. Ours followed hard upon, around 10:00 a.m.

When I saw the FedEx truck across the street I ran to the door in my pajamas and held it open while the driver, who looked like an extra from "The Sound of Music," took his sweet time getting to the door. "This is a very special envelope!" I announced, and he murmured "Oh, I'm sure it is," averting his eyes from my pink-striped flannel finery, which for the second time in as many days was being thoroughly captured on video. We were so excited when we pulled out the new photos of Ruo-Ruo, both taken in a wooden playroom, which uncharacteristically for referral photos contained no walkers, chairs or other propping devices, simply an adorable, plump girl in a yellow dress trimmed in bunny rabbits sitting with some toys. In one, she looks like she's playing a plastic keyboard, so we've been calling her musically gifted. ;)

We took the photos (a copy anyway) to the Families with Children from China Holiday Party (fine timing!) where we attracted a huge amount of attention just by waving around a color copy with a couple of baby heads on it. It was so fun telling other parents, including some who had recently returned from China, that we'd just received these photos this morning. A couple of the girls pointed to the pictures and said "baby!" We even coincidentally struck up a conversation with the one member in San Diego who has also adopted from Chongqing, and we got to meet her 2-year-old, Roxy, who is a beauty. She told us that she really enjoyed the city and the people were very warm. Hooray!

After that we went to FedEx-Kinkos with Paul and Mary and videotaped the hell out of signing our acceptance letters and mailing them back to CCAI. That made everything official; when CCAI receives these letters, they will forward them to CCAA, who will begin working on our travel arrangements. We're hoping travel approval will be issued in around four weeks, putting us in Chongqing well before Chinese New Year (January 29 this year.) This is going to be one Christmas season where more than visions of sugar plums will be dancing in my head.

I just have to say that every time I look at Ruo-Ruo's pictures, she looks more and more lovely, and more and more like one of us.

Ruo-Ruo!

What a day. What an amazing day. We are delirious with tiredness, having thrashed for a few scant hours last night, waiting for the sun to come up. We knew that calls would start coming at 10:00 Colorado time, and that meant 8:00 for us. Well, we heard nothing until 9:45 and I was fairly passing out by then! When the phone rang, David had seen to it that a special recording set-up (that he described as "low-tech) would capture the whole conversation for posterity, and we put it on speaker phone, too. A gal named Jen identified herself as an employee of CCAI, and then asked, "Is this a good time?" We were laughing and crying simultaneously, totally overwhelmed by the surreal quality of the moment, the moment in which we would become parents in an instant, over the phone. The first thing she said was something like "You have a beautiful daughter!" and I just lost it. I'm so glad this no doubt charming display was also being video-taped, especially since I was still in my pajamas. :)

She gave us the information that many of you have already read on e-mail--her name, her age, her province and a few details about her most recent medical exam, nothing that excited any particular attention. She sounded plump from her stats, and she has a little birthmark on the side of her head. I don't remember much of what David and I said or asked, though I do remember asking, when I learned her name was Yu Mei Ruo and that she knows her name, what she is actually called. That's where we got Ruo-Ruo, and it just stuck! All day long I'd pull up her picture again and be unable to restrain myself from proclaiming "Ruo-Ruo!" in a high-pitched baby voice.

For the first few minutes, I know I was in a state of shock, first because many months ago I had a vivid dream that our baby was going to come from Jiangxi, and instead she was from Chongqing, and because I'd kind of imagined her at six months and she is going to be a year old in a couple weeks. Then we had some sort of technical difficulties accessing our picture (they send the first one over e-mail) and it was the longest 15 minutes of my life while we pressed "check mail" hundreds of times and I became more and more hysterical. We finally resorted to calling CCAI and shouting into the speaker phone, "Our picture didn't come through!" and I guess we were sufficiently urgent-sounding because then we received it about five times. :)

I had some really complicated feelings when I saw her picture. I remember thinking all along that the people who said "I took one look at her picture and fell in love with her" just didn't sound like me. I am a "glass half-full" type of girl; it's how I'm able to tell jokes. :) I was shocked at her shaved head (extremely common for girls in Chinese orphanages) and her relaxed stance and expression, as if already jaded by the prospect of the thousands of photos her dad will take of her. ;) But within a few minutes, all the details began to snap into place in my head, like the moment when you find that certain piece of the puzzle that makes the placement of all the subsequent pieces really obvious. Of course she was relaxed--think about who her father is, after all! Of course she laughs really loud and sleeps really late--she's her mother's daughter! And hey, doesn't she look a little like my dad?

The happiness of the moment was capped by a phone call back from Mary and Paul, who confirmed that their J girl is also in Chongqing and practically the same age as ours! It was like a dream coming true--we've thought about being able to travel with them for so long, and now it is really going to happen!

The rest of the day has been a blur--sending out an e-mail to our "blast" list with her little photo and receiving a wonderfully prodigious number of responses from loved ones, many of whom said they cried when they first saw her face. Lots of really sweet phone calls, too, and a lot of love gathered for a little girl in spicy southwestern China at the mouth of the Yangtse River, ready and waiting for her to come and collect it all.

Matches Are In!

The latest:

Dear David & Sam,

The CCAA posted on their website www.china-ccaa.org that the April matches were mailed and included log in dates (LID) from April 1st through April 14th. Click on the English button on the CCAA website and you will find the announcements on the right hand side of that page.

Again, matches were mailed from China on Tuesday so we are anticipating the packet to any day and it will most likely have your match in it. We will be in touch soon!

Best,
Judy O'Connor, MSW
Child Placement Supervisor
CCC/CCAI

I just read this over and realized it still sounds hopelessly vague. But here's the real news:

THE PACKAGE ARRIVED IN DENVER THIS MORNING. Now it's just a matter of waiting for that phone call!

Tummy hurts. And now I'm crying a little bit.

Seasons of Love

I'm ready to crawl out of my skin! I'm not sure what is up but my organs feel all sloshy and I'm light-headed and have the short-term memory of a goldfish. Is this what motherhood feels like? I'm distracted and anxious and yet I'm still deeply in denial...do you realize that according to all sources, "the stork" will be arriving at CCAI by midday tomorrow, which means that they have to call us within 24 hours of that arrival, which means we could (will!?!) get "the call" by Friday afternoon? I simply can't process this.

Oh my stars. I don't really know what to think. Anyone out there who can confirm that I'm not just having some kind of psychotic break? Shouldn't I be floating on clouds? Instead I'm ripping out chunks of my hair. (I do that anyway, but now it's really pronounced; I will have to resort to hats.)

And I have this strange desire to eat nothing but ice cream. Resisting so far, but the Ice Cream Force is strong with me. Also I'm snappish and impatient. This is sounding a lot more like PMS than impending parenthood. Hey, maybe it is PMS. Well, there's some irony for you.

Saw "Rent" this afternoon. I had never seen the musical in the theater, and as an unrepentent high school drama queen I've always wanted to. Also, the one song I knew, "Seasons of Love," tears me into little pieces every time. The way all that stuff happens in 525,600 minutes. The movie is like a period piece of lower Manhattan in 1989, and that part is fine. But why won't these people pay their rent, and why are they so angry that people keep asking them for rent? Why is it always so cold, yet the characters gallivant around in mini-skirts in the snow? Why don't the people who actually have jobs pay their friends' heating bills and maybe spring for a pizza? And why are all the songs so forgettable except the aforementioned?

Mind you, the cast are incredible singers, and credible dancers. And the way they are all living with AIDS is heart-rending. But I grew weary of them leaping onto tables and singing every few seconds. Occasionally I felt a bit embarrassed for them, which is not a familiar feeling for me, who loves "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" and has been known to burst into tears at the line "Way, way back many centuries ago/Not long after the Bible began..." I just had trouble grasping why these seemingly nice folks seem to have such a penchant for squalor and smack.

A great big shout-out to Aunt Cheryl in Wellington Mills, Western Australia, an amazing cook and a good friend to garden gnomes. ;) Your post surprised and delighted us! Keep those posts coming, everyone. I love knowing that you're out there!

EEK!

This just in:

12/6/05

We have learned that the CCAA has mailed matches. CCAI hopes to receive these matches within 2 to 4 business days. At this time, we cannot verify how many families have been matched for the month of April LIDs. We will update this site as soon as more information becomes available.

The April families who receive their matches this month will be on an 8 month timeline. The remaining April families who will be matched in January will be 9 months from LID.

For the foreseeable future, it appears that the referral timeline might be in the range of 9 ˆ 10 months from LID (log in date) to child match. We will keep our CCAI families posted as soon as we are able to confirm any timelines changes or receive official notice from the CCAA (www.china-ccaa.org).

Wow! For those of you who have never understood a word I've said about LIDs and DTCs and the crucial difference between CCAI and CCAA, here's all you need to know right now:

Our LID is April 12.

That would be the April 12 that's in the FIRST HALF of the month of April. The half that may already be matched with information about our daughter chugging towards Denver (and CCAI) as I write!

Okay, that is exciting, and now I'm even more freaked out. Because that means that (gulp) there's a picture of Jarrah in that package. And we might see that picture by the end of this week!

I realize I'm a bit incoherent here. I'm trembling. I think I need some retail therapy. More later.

Much more later.

Loveliness (Sigh)

What a nice weekend. I hope I am doing a good job appreciating them. On Saturday morning David and I drove to LA because he was giving a talk at some HD film festival. I'll let him tell you about that. :) We stopped in the OC for my favorite-ever egg salad sandwich (really it needs some other category because its elements are discrete instead of mush) and then continued on to the Geffen Contemporary Museum in Little Tokyo (once charmingly known as the "Temporary Contemporary," but I guess they finally faced the fact that they weren't going anywhere.) This museum, an auxillary of MOCA Los Angeles, is a cavernous warehouse that specializes in installations, the kind that invite frolicking in their capacious innards. The current exhibit, "Ecstasy: Altered States" was so much fun. One room is entirely filled with giant twirling red mushrooms hanging from the ceiling. Another room was entirely dark except for pinpoints of light arranged in a grid pattern. All of the rooms had the effect of disturbing your equilibrium in a pleasurable way.

Afterwards we met Lindsey at a mall called "The Grove" for a bit of shopping and a wander through the Farmer's Market. It was lovely with all the holiday lights and stars, but incredibly crowded. The wind whipped around all day, leaving the sky so clear that the falling darkness looked velvety. And we saw Matthew Perry! He was just ambling through the mall on his own, kickin' it LA-style.

Speaking of which, what is the deal with distance in LA? Is that city 50 freakin' miles across? Any time we had to go anywhere, it took a half-hour. I felt like I was in the car forever. From the Grove, David went to Burbank for his event (another amazingly long drive, and I was not a good enough wife to keep him company) and Lindsey and I went to give Zooey her dinner and then out for tapas with Thomas. (Tapas With Thomas! Possible children's book? Chewable?) The first choice of restaurant involved eating out on the sidewalk, where the tablecloths were literally lifting off from the wind. I said, "I'm going to promise not to complain if we can just eat anywhere that's not outside." We ended up at another tapas place, where Lindsey doesn't like the ambience as much ("Indoors is good ambience for me," I said.) It was fun, though we had a good laugh when they brought the dessert, supposedly Spanish-style churros with chocolate dipping sauce. "What does that remind me of?" I asked when the waitress had walked away. "Chicken fingers?" Thomas asked, and I said "Exactly!" And then they TASTED like chicken fingers, which was altogether disconcerting.

We stayed at my parents' house because it was so late by the time David was done (the event started at least an hour late) and had a leisurely morning, including breakfast out, which is one of my favorite things in the world to do on a Sunday. And the food was perfect. After that we took a meandering two-hour walk on Balboa Island, including a detour on the auto ferry to the Peninsula, where we stood on the pier and watched some guys sail off on the world's largest kayak-type boat. Once again, the day was dazzlingly clear and sunny, and Balboa was blissfully empty of crowds, reminding me for the millionth time how delicious it is to be local.

Glog

December Nights was sorta-kinda fun. Do you know there are people who stand around in there all night with signs, picketing the fact that it's no longer called Christmas on the Prado? Don't they have anything better to do? It makes me sad.

Anyway, I am the weirdest, most controlling person in the world and I printed out a list of what all the International Cottages were serving, so we got to zero in on the stuff we wanted: stew from Ireland, naan and chicken tikka from India, crepes from Hungary. And, of course, hot apple cider, which is mandatory for each celebrant.

It took us a long time to walk from our parking place through the thronging hordes to get to the stage where the San Diego Men's Chorus was performing; I really wanted to see them. We arrived in time for about three songs, which is better than we did last year! They really are very good; it's a shame that some sort of Zipper midway ride was situated right next to the stage and the lovely harmonies were punctuated with rising gales of scream.

I finally got to see the San Diego Floral Association, but there was some serious crapcake in there; all kinds of trees and tchotchkes festooned with dying flowers, and signs proclaiming that some ladies organization or other was responsible for the carnage. And they had advertised gingerbread, which was not in attendance. Luckily on the way out we happened on the San Diego Civic Dance Company, and got to see a dozen or so Santa-attired little girls in tap shoes doing the most fabulous Rockette-style kick line to an Ethel Merman-esque song called "I Need A Little Christmas." That alone made the whole evening worth it.

Still no news, by the way, if you were wondering.

Crabapple

Bah humbug. It's December and I'm crabby today. Scrooge-like. And I've always suspected Scrooge was Jewish, haven't you?

But first....shout-outs to Amy, Caroline, Marlene and Teresa! Woohoo! I've always wanted to have a reason to do shout-outs, like they do on "Television Without Pity" (awesome website, if you've never checked it out.) And to all you perfectly sane people who confessed to attending Howard Jones concerts--I am in good company!

So why am I all crabby today? Well, it's December Nights this weekend. This is an event that's better in the imagining than the execution. Most years David and I have dutifully trudged up the hill from our old place to Balboa Park and fashioned a make-shift dinner out of tiny, expensive bites of greasy goodness hailing from countries around the world. Grudgingly admitting, hours later, that we are full, even though we're fairly certain we haven't eaten more than a quarter-cup of food washed down by some indeterminate holiday glog. I like the acapella singers but David is virulently opposed to the greedy, grabbing crowds and kvetches mightily when I insist on going and even more so when we're actually there. It's a kvetching paradise for a man who otherwise does not kvetch.

But why am I crabby? Well, I think this is the time of year when I start sensing that everyone is gathered in homes with fireplaces wearing snowman stick pins on their turtlenecks and singing carols with their loved ones and I want in! I don't want to be left outside, pressing my nose to the frosty glass and peering around an evergreen garland. Wah wah wah.

Also someone posted an e-mail from Judy this morning where she, in her maddeningly cheerful and conservative way, estimated it could be two weeks before referrals are even MAILED from Beijing, because I guess those donuts are just too tasty for those CCAA folks to stay focused on their objective, which is to find me a baby! :) Of course she could be wrong, and of course I'm living the enlightened life now, where I don't wish for time to pass, but ARGH! Mostly I feel a bit like an sheepish idiot for announcing to people that we are being matched.

And why else am I crabby? Let me count the ways. :) Oh, David has a work event in Burbank this weekend...on Saturday night. Saturday night! Is that even legal? We were supposed to go to a fancy holiday party and now we can't.

Okay, I'm done with the crabby portion of our broadcast. I do want to say that I had the most wonderful time at the San Diego Zoo on Tuesday with Caroline and her beautiful boys who were both willing to hold my hand. :) We strolled around the blissfully empty "weekday afternoon in winter" zoo and even got an audience with the pandas, totally uninterrupted by haranguings to keep the line moving. Those pandas are awfully cute even just sitting there eating bamboo. I am so looking forward to more afternoons like this with Caroline and perhaps my own little one in a stroller!